When I look back on my life, there’s things I miss and otheres I don’t, like everyone, I guess.
January, 5, 2012
My life has changed alot since I moved to Toronto, I came to live here in December 21, 2011 because my parent’s were living here and I didnt’t have a job at the time at Portugal. Right now I feel kinda frustrated, I’m like this because I don’t have car here,no driving lessons, I have no cool friends to go out with, no gayplaces to go where I can feel free to dance and talk about things I really like, It’s not that I don’t dance at other places but It’s not the same thing. I miss the wonderfull beaches that Portugal has, I miss Lisbon, the monuments, the pretty and interesting people I see when I walk through Lisbon, my granparents, my friends, my big comfortble house where I can see the beach, I miss being with my boyfriend at a club, huging, kissing and having a good time with him, I miss the food he made for me, I miss walking around with him, visiting wonderfull places, being at the place where he lived talking and laughing, I miss sleeping next to him, I miss making love with him and looking at his pretty green eyes . What I don’t miss Is hearing all the time about the crise Portugal is passing through and the distance.
January 6, 2012
Today I went for a walk with my mom and brothers, we went to Queens Street, my mom said there are lots of prostitutes there. I loved it because everything is vintage, looks like time stopped there, and there are lots of old stores like Public Butter with so many vintage clothing, shoes, glasses, hats, seats, fourniture, bikes and there were 3 changing rooms that were confessional’s of a church, there was seats from a old vintage theather. I loved that store, because I had so many ideas for a movie, me and my boyfriend planned and everything I imagined was there. Oh, and I bought a pair of glasses. I could show more pictures from the webside but I don’t want to because the store looked diferent today, It had more stuff and It was messier, I like how It looked today.
The changing rooms
Today I went Ice skating as well, It’s so cool, my sister went with me, then I got home I had dinner, after made some searches about colleges to apply then I drew in a canvas an eye seeing on youtube how do do it but all the rest was my idea. When I went to facebook I saw a lovely message from my boyfriend, oh well he is not my boyfriend anymore but… yeah, he sended me a message saying he missed grabbing me while we were sleeping, I miss that so much to. I wiss I could be with him <3
We had so many wonderfull moments together I will not forget.
Here’s the draw I made
January 7, 2012
I just got home right now, It’s almost 3 in the morning, I went to a latin bar called Mana, Its close from where I live, and there’s a club next to this one that we were going called El convento Rico, my cousin said there’s drag queen’s dancing there at a stage. Well the bar we went had latin songs almost all the time, I went with 2 cousins, Kathleen and Amanda. It wasn’t that fun because almost all of the songs were to dance together with someone and my cousins that are very good looking always got someone to dance and sometimes I would be alone, not for long but still I would feel like a dummy. They said I should get a girl to dance, but I was thinking to myself, I don’t like girls I’m not going to get a girl to dance bahhhh. But besides that I had some fun, not alot, just a little. Amanda told me next time we would go to El convento Rico or another place where It would pass other songs besides latin ones, It’s not that I don’t like latin songs but not all night long. Well today I went to a swimming pool to, at the afternoon with my brother’s, It was kinda nice, the 2 lifeguards were portuguese and very cool. Now I’m going to sleep because It’s late, It’s not that late actually, if I was at Portugal I would party until 5 ou 6 of the morning, but here It’s diferent, the clubs and bars close at 3.
Me and my cuzens, The photographer from the bar took it.
January, 8, 2012
Here I am again, my day was not bad, I went to my cousin’s apartment, She’s called Zinha, shes 50 something years old, shes not married and has no kids, everyone likes her alot because shes very sweet and funny. My mom used to work wit her back them when she lived here in Canada at a dentist laboratory. It’s a very nice apartment, with a pool, sauna, a place for kids and other stuff. She rents a room of her apartment to students, now theres a Chinese student there called Gabriel, he came to Toronto to study Civil Engineering Technology, his parents are at Chine, and his studing at Humber College, the college I want to study to, so he told me what he needed to apply to the colege. He was really cool. After that me and my brothers went to the swimming pool then we had a bath and whent upstairs where they were, when we got there I heard my mom inviting my cuzen to have dinner at our house, so we did. Tomorow I have to dress my sister to go to school because my mom goes to work early, the school is right in front of the house we live, she will go alone. I have to call Humber college to know what do I need to do tho apply there.
A part of Humber College Its at Lakeshore
January, 9, 2012
8h20AM my cellphone rings, It’s my mom telling me again that I have to give breakfast and dress Rita to school, and I tell her, Mom I alredy know… I get my sister ready and then she goes alone,I go to the window to see her crossing the road and walking the sidewalk to the schoolyard. The school Is at the other side of the road.Then I have breakfast and go for a walk, Call Humber college, I talk with the program co-ordinato of Film and Television Production,Thats the program I want, he gives me some information but doesn’t know everything I need to apply, he knows about the program. So he gives me the number and the extension of someone else who can heIp me, I call but I cant talk with no one because today is the first day of classes and everyone is calling the school. I have to get things done until February 1st or else I dont go to school at September. Gosh I wish I could start now, I cant wait until September. Bahh. After I go to Dufferin Mal, It’s a shopping really close to my house, I go to H&M and try on a really nice gabardine, but It’s 99 dollares if I’m not mistaking, gosh so expensive, That store was a lot of clothe I like. I leave Dufferin Mal and walk on the sidewalk, I see a old store, with vintage stuff, I love those stores, I saw old cameras and old videocameras that were 20 dollares, If I make the movie I’m thinking about since I was at Portugal, I will buy one of those cameras. I have so many ideas for that romantic movie, I hope I do it some day. After this I went to the library deliver the dvds and books about Madonna and Lady Gaga i brought home. At 11h45 Rita gets out of school so I go get her and make lunch for me and my brothers. At the afternoon I try to call Humber college again, but no one awsers. bahh. So I go for a walk again, this time I go to a second hand store, I love those stores, In this store that I alredy whent with my mom and brothers, I found a book that I’m reading, it’s called Madonna, Blond ambition, It talks about her since she was a kid until shes a star, It talks about the day she lost her virginity, she was 15 years old. This time I dont find no interesting things so I go to Holy Oak Cafe, I alredy whent there 3 times, 2 of them was night and this time was day, I like it better at night, because It doesnt have alot ilumination so it makes a nice aspect, It’s a old vintage cafe, with chairs, tables, a piano,balcony made of wood, thers nice lamps and theres games like Mikado that enyone can play, I always drink a tea, the other times I drinked a Camomile tea, this time a Ment. One of the times I went there a girl came and talked with me, we talked about tea, It was funny. At the entrance theres a sticker at the window of a little gay flag, the first time I whent there, there were some girls that looked like boys and some gays, but no interesting ones. But I like to go there.
I dont know If the cameras I saw at the store are Olympus, but They were like this model.
January. 11. 2012
Yesterday I went Ice skatting, I contacted some shitts for school and the most important and sad thing I made was talking with my godmother, shes a teacher and she knows lots of things about schools, so she helped me with my ”application”, Well It’s not application anymore because she told me I should apply only at September 2013, I was thinking ” Are you crazy man?!, but then she explained me that her daughter, was studing a bussiness program at college and after 3 months she realized that wasn’t what she wanted to do, so she wanted to change right away to Interior designer program but had to do a portefolio, everyone who wants to study arts has to make one, so, just like me, she wouldnt have time to make a good one In time to apply, or if she did,It wouldnt be good enough to be acepted. Theres more things students need to apply to an art program like a recomendation card but the most importante Is the portefolio, The portefolio consists In showing and talking about creative things we have done, talking about programs, worshops or courses we have frequented. So she had to wait until next September like me. Her mom paid a interior designer to give her lessons so she could start doing the portfolio. In my case I have to frequent some courses, workshops of cinema, film, fotography, study english, maybe make some movies and other creative things to talk about on my portefolio. Today I went with my friend Monica, (shes my friend since we were babies, our parents are friends since they were teenagers) to Yorkdale, Its a cool shopping center, we eat chinese food, yumi yumi and then visited some stores, like H&M, Zara and others I dont remeber, we visited a cd store where i bought Lady Gaga’s Dvd of The Monster Ball Tour at Madinson Square Garden NY, Its the same show I saw at Lisbon, we went to dollarstore as well where she bought stuff for school and I bought a bigger screen then that one I painted with the eye and those colors so I can make another one. I like my friend Monica alot, shes 18 years old and shes going to be a teacher, shes going to university after she finishes college, she alredy gives portuguese lessons at weekends to kids from 1st grade.
Here’s a picture where I am and she Is, This was went we whent bowling.
January, 13, 2012
Snow Is everywhere today, I woke up, whent to the window and It was snowing alot, at the afternoon It stopped. But It looks nice to see the city all white, well, not all white because at the road its brown. Ok, Im going to tell again how my day was, I went with a friend to downtown, It was snowing, our clothes were all white, It was funny, we went to a shopping called Eaton Center, Its the largest mall at downtown Toronto, we drank a cappuccino and looked at clothing. Yesterday I made a draw on a canvas and today I finished It, It has two hands, a closed one and a open one, the close one represents a closed mind, sad and black the open hand represents a open mind, creative and colorfull. Firts It was like this
Now Its like this
This was at the afternoon, It wasnt snowing alot enymore.
January, 14, 2012
It’s so frickin cold today, Its -12°C, It feels so good to get home because Its so warm inside. I was going to my friends house at the morning, he lives at downtown but then my parents told me and my brothers If we wanted to buy a board to go sledding on the snow. So we bought it and went to High Park (It’s a big park with animals like bufalos, lamas, goats in fences. At summer It’s full of flowers, like tulips, It’s a very nice place to go at summer especialy) my brother and my sister whent sledding, But I didnt because my hand and feet were frezing, gosh I just wanted to go home, and I hade gloves I made without the front part of the fingers, I saw it at H&M for sale, It was 6 dollares, so I went to dollarstore and I bought a pair for 1 dollar and I cutted the gloves fingers, It was a very bad Idea to use them in a day like this. After we came home, had luch and I went with my sister to a swimming pool, There was the same lifeguard of the other time I went there, But there was another one that wasn’t there the other time I whent there, he was so hot, he looked 17 but had a older body, I didint see all his body unfortunately, but I saw his arms and legs that were toned, and them he had such cute smile and look.
January, 15, 2012
It was 3 something PM, I wanted to go to Queens Park Station downtown but I went to Queens Street, Wrong way.Then I asked someone wich street car should I get to go there, he was very nice and told me. When I arrived I waited for my friend Mauricio, While that a lady that looked like a beggar was talking alone saying she was having so much fun, It was so cold gosh, but she didn’t seem cold because she was drunk, then she told me that she wanted my scarf, i said I was cold and I needed It, she told me she was going to the street car somewhere and then she would give it back, ya right, when would I see her again? After I called Mauricio and walked to where he was, we had a capuccino, I drank with a straw like a kid, It was funny. We also went to the hotel where he is living, Its a very nice hotel, and his room is very nice as well, he has a nice view of the city and of the back of city hall, he has a big camera, looks like the paparazzis cameras. He took some pictures of me, I asked him to. He is really cool and sweet. I liked a lot to be there.
January, 18, 2012
My friend Monica sended me pictures I took with her Iphone of a store where we past, It had lots of pins and broochs, when I make the movie, I have to go there and buy one to put on the main actress clothe. They are so cool. Her name is going to be Margarita and her boyfriend Gabriel, Its a love story and the guy colects buttons.
I didn’t start writting the movie yet because I have to put more things together. Today after lunch I whent to my friend Mauricios hotel where we saw a movie called Never let me go, It was a nice movie but the one I saw just now was better, It’s called One Day, anne hathaway is in it, Its nice but sad as well. It was nice to watch the movie with Mauricio at the afternoon, we laught alot because there was a girl that was always sad and she was funny.
Well I have to go to sleep, Im tired.
January, 20, 2012
I just finished watching the movie Midnight in Paris, It was written and produced by Woody Allen, I saw Vicky Cristina Barcelona that was made by him to, bouth of them are not that good in my opinion. At Vicky Cristina Barcelona theres my favourite actress Penelope Cruz, I love her acent and her beauty, shes so sexy, but the movie Is not that good, this one has pretty views, a nice vintage store, It was at 2010 but at midnight the main actor would get a ride on a very fancy old car to the 20s, and there he meets famous artists. I didnt think It was a good movie. Yesterday I saw War Horse, I only saw It because Steven Spielber made It, I like Steven Spielberg alot, It was a nice movie, not my type, I dont really like movies about war but I saw It and enjoyed. My dad Is watching, he loves horses, his going to love It. Today my friend tooke more pictures of me at his hotel room, and I had lunch with him and a friend of him, she was chinese and very nice. It was a cool day.
These pictures where the one Mauricio took. I like them
January, 25 , 2012
Im kinda sad, gosh I miss Portugal so much, I miss driving my car, my white Opel Corsa, so cute, I used to be tired of driving because I drived alot, now I miss driving alot and being tired of it, Portugal is so wonderfull, but what would I do If I went? I have no job or goals there, everyone who lives there wants to get out of the country. Well at least here I’m doing something cool, I’m writting my movie, I don’t know yet but maybe It’s going to be called Lucky Buttons, Im not 100% sure. I met a guy from a website called meetup, that website has lots of groups of people with the same hobbies or passions and they discuss things, meet to share their hobbies, etc. This guy studied something realated to film production and his helping me.
I went with my friend Mauricio to some antique, vintage stores in Downtown, there was one store that had so many things, gosh, It was tremendously amazing. I dont know If those 2 words sound well together, but Im just obsessed with the word tremendously. That store had everything, big mirrors, pictures of queens, radio microphones, big cages for birds, furniture, bottles, jars, radios, televisions, typewitter, so many things, It looked like a store from a movie, so incredible,and the stores was so full of great shit. I loved It.
I forgot to to talk about the movie I watched a couple days ago, It was The Skin I live In with Antonio Banderas, It was produced by Almodovar, Its so cool, Theres a cute young guy called Vicent that treats bad and hits Antonio Banderas daughter, she goes crazy and dies. When he discover that he made that, Banderas kidnapps Vicent and because his a plastic surgeon, he transformes Vicent to a sexy girl called Vera Cruz. I watched the movie In spanish and I loved It.
January, 27, 2012
I miss Portugal so much, my car, my house, my cellphone, going everywhere I want, Im so bored right now, maybe I feel like this because Im really tired today and because my friend Anthony told me If I wanted to go out tomorow, I hate going out with him because his totally streight and his friends are to, and If we go out they will be like hunting for girls and I will feel so bad, If my brother is going even worse, I never went out with my brother, Its so strange, holy fuck, Im so stressed. fuck. I feel like going to Portugal. I can go If I want. I have to go sleep, tomorow when I wake up It will be better.
January, 29 . 2012
OMG yesterday I had so much fun, I went with my friend Mauricio to a gay bar called woodys, there was a drag queen show, It was so funny, they were tryng to look like Rihanna but they were kinda fat, then there was a ass contest, lots of guys were showing their asses and then people voted. And I heard Madonnas new song give me all your love, It was so much fun, but at 2 It was over, gosh I wanted to dance and It was closing. Today my mom turned 45 so we whent out for lunch and after we went to my friend Monicas house and we played a playstation 3, rock band, It was fun, after we watched videos of us when we were little, Its so cool.
When we were going to have lunch, in my dads van from work lol
February, 5 , 2012
It was 4h20 PM when I got home, I was so tired of dancing and jumpimg. I went with Mauricio to a gay bar at downtown called Play, when we got there, there was a drag queen that looked like Adele and Lana Del Rey together, she or he, well, the drag queen was using something shinny that looked like a bathing suit and was dancing and walking on her little stage,she was fat, It was so funny. I danced so much, they played Lady gaga, Adele, LMFAO, Britney Spears, Madonna, Cyndi Louper and much more. A short guy with 30 something years old was always close to us, he always dancing a latin way, so funny, then there was a guy in a wheelchair waving his arms, seemed to be having alot fun. There were 2 guys too always close to me, all the times Mauricio went get a drink they would try to grab me, they were so close to my face, and one of them came talk with me. We danced so much, Im alredy exited to go there again next friday or saturday. When that bar closed we went to Mcdonals and while we were waiting to ask for our menu, a guy behind us got really close to my shoulder and asked us if we could help him choose the menu because he wasnt seeing well, we helped him. Then a guy that was at front of us turned around and started talking with me, he asked my name, my age, where I was born, then I told him I liked his glasses and he sayd he liked my lips and then he came streight to my face to kiss me, I faced away. Omg It was so funny. When we were going to the street car a a group of people that were in a car screamed: hey you guys want to party?? . Or something like that. I loved the night.
Right now Im so exited to watch Madonna perform at the half time show at the superbowl, Its almost time. I cant wait.
Church Street is the gay place at Toronto, a steet with gay bars where we went.
February, 12 , 2012
This week I had english classes, and Im going to continue them, they start at 9AM and end at 3PM but after thers Academic Writting classes and I stay for those ones ones too. So Im there from 9AM to 6PM. they are very good. Theres lots of people at my class, and thers a cool guy whos from Spain, we talk alot and laught alot, Its cool, but Im always exited for friday, to go to the trannys, this is the expression me and Mauricio use to say that we are going out to the gay bars, Its always so much fun, this friday we went to the bar called Play again, there were different trannys, one of them had blond hair, has so ugly and seemed to have a hangover like the one I have today, another one was old and so boring, there were 2 I liked, one really looked like a woman, I think she was latin but my favourite one wasnt a tranny, she was a reall woman, really sexy. This time a guy that looked 37 or 38, maybe more, was always close to us, he was really charming and kinda sexy and when we went outside we came talk to us, his name is Pietr and his from Poland, he was so charming, Im in love with him (lol). There were 2 guys that were dancing together, they were boyfriends, but one of them was always looking at us and his boyfriend was so jealous, he looked mad, so funny, But the guy that was looking at us was cute, I wouldnt mind to kidnap him (ehehe). There was a old anoying guy as well that was trying to grab my hands and Mauricios and dance with us, so so anoying but It was so funny. I loved the night. Cant wait to next Friday. Yesterday was my couzin Emmas Birthday, we went to a place do climbing, my couzins, Amanda, Kathleen and Emily were there to. It was fun. At night I went with my friend Monica to a guys hotel, he lives in a 5 starts hotel, It has a tremendous view, Its in Downtown, so so amazing, and the guys was even more amazing, he was so cute and so nice. When we got there, there was the cute guy or course, and three other friends. I only knew Monica. Then two girls came too and we played a game wich we had to ask questions to each other and drink. The purpose of this party was make a suprise to a girl I know called Sara, It was her birthday, so when she sended a text message to the cute guy saying she was in the hotel we all waited for her to arrive close to the elevator. So when she arrived everyone jumped and sayd happy birthday. After this we went to his suit again and singed happy birthday to her and start playing more games and drinking, we got really drunk, I even vomited, then me and Monica went home by taxi. I has so drunk i couldnt even walk straight, I got home and couldnt close the door, my mom had to close it, then I had a bath and went to sleep. Now I have a hangover but Im better. Oh and Whitney Houston died yesterday, so sad. She was found dead in her hotel room in LA, shes was 48. I went to facebook right now and I have friends requests of almost everyone that was in the party. So cool
This was while we were waiting for Sara to arrive to make her a surprise
Me and Monica
This was while we were playing the drink game
June, 3 , 2012
No, I did not die, i just have been really busy and did not have time to writte here. Lots of things happend since the last time i wrotte, I dont even know where to start. Well I will start by telling that I am working, going to English classes and that I met a girl called Samantha, I met her by Mauricio, she told me she was from Paris and was here in Toronto for a couple months living with a family and taking care of their kids. I loved to hear her speaking English with a french accent, sound so cute. And she likes cinema too, so it was really nice to meet her. After that we went to a bar called Byzantium and had a lot of fun.Now we have been meeting a lot. Me, her and Mauricio, we have fun together and laughed a lot. Mauricio is not at Toronto now, he went to Argentina for holidays and then his going to Brazil, lucky mother fucker =)- I miss him. But the most important thing is that I met Adam, my beautiful ken. The first time i met him, we went to fly, a gay club and had so much fun, we danced so much and kissed, I will never forget that night and every time we go out its so much fun. I’m very happy with him. We are already one month together and he makes me happy <3
At a BBQ with Chad, Timmy, Adam and Samantha, they are Adams friends, Chad and Timmy, very nice guys =)
Timmy, me and Adam
Here is Samantha too
Me at the Island
My sexy Ken
Me and Samantha =)
Mauricio, Samantha and me, I miss going out with them 2 =(